01/28/22 | tfln | This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
01/28/22 | tfln | Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
02/04/22 | tfln | My favorite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down."
02/11/22 | tfln | Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
03/11/22 | tfln | He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
04/08/22 | tfln | I'm at the ocean... well, I'm at AN ocean…
04/08/22 | tfln | You need to stop showing people the things I drunk-text to you...I have a reputation to uphold here
05/06/22 | tfln | I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
05/13/22 | tfln | I dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
05/20/22 | tfln | I can't put those talents on a resume.
07/15/22 | tfln | I mean besides the fact I got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night
08/19/22 | tfln | At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
09/02/22 | tfln | You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
09/09/22 | tfln | Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
09/23/22 | tfln | One of these days I'm going to roll my eyes too hard and I'm going to go blind.
11/04/22 | tfln | Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
11/18/22 | tfln | the universe knew that if I got any taller than 5'4" I would cause 10x more problems. so I was forcibly condensed. for the safety of the world
12/16/22 | tfln | fyi. I let myself into your place. wearing some of your clothes in your bed.
12/23/22 | tfln | Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
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